By Ed Williams / Published on February 24th, 2007 / Travel
Man oh man, it was my first visit ever, and let me tell y'all, if there was ever a town I fell in love with at first glance, it's Las Vegas! It has The Brotherhood's name written all over it, in fact, if there ever was ever a town that I'll need to visit regularly for the rest of my life after only one visit, it's Las Vegas!
I went out there for a speaking engagement related to some of my writing activities. Even though I spoke for only twenty minutes in a tiny conference room in one of the big strip hotels, I can now say, for all eternity, that "I've played Vegas!" I was out there for all of two days, which now makes me a certified Vegas authority. And because I'm now so knowledgeable, here's some unique things y'all can expect to see if you ever make a trip out there:
1. Some huge hotels - I thought I had seen some large hotels in places like New York City and Chicago, but nothing compares to these big mamas out in Vegas. You have the Luxor, which literally looks like a pyramid with a light shining out of the top. You have Mandalay Bay, well, actually there are two Mandalay Bays now, and they both have copper colored windows in their rooms. They also have eleven acres of swimming pools and a huge shark aquarium. The owner of Mandalay Bay obviously likes fish, and probably also likes having a little something on the property to help keep the guests in line. Let's also not forget Caesar's Palace, which is huge, and the Venetian, which is even larger. There's one place called Excaliber that looks like a castle because one actually sits right at the entrance to it, Paris Las Vegas has a replica of the Eiffel Tower standing right next to it, one called the Stratosphere has an 1100 foot tower built close by (get this, there's a roller coaster on top of it), and the grandest Vegas hotel of them all is the Bellagio. Collectively, these have to be the most unique hotels in the world.
2. More gambling than you could ever imagine - every big motel has a casino, and you can't get to anything without going through the casino first. I'm serious, if you want to go to your room, you've gotta go through the casino, if you want to eat at a motel restaurant, you've gotta go through the casino, and remember this - if you need to go to the bathroom, don't wait til it's leg quivering time to go, because you'll have to go through the casino to get to it as well. Something tells me that those Vegas motel security people won't like guests who whiz all over their carpets or slot machines.
3. Women, women, and women! There's something unusual goin' on in Vegas, something I can't quite explain but still want to tell y'all about. The women in Vegas must be extra friendly, and the reason I know that is that they actually have people standing out on the streets handing out cards with their names and telephone numbers on them. Isn't that the friendliest thing you've ever heard of? Where else could you go and experience hospitality like this? How Vegas has managed to get so many friendly women all in one place is something I'll never figure out...
4. The shows! I saw Little Richard in the Orleans Motel and Casino Showroom, and man was he was great! Also performing on the strip were Gladys Knight, Celine Dion, a whole bunch of Elvis impersonators, and many, many more top flight entertainers. There were also some topless reviews, as they like to get naked at some of these Vegas clubs, but being the highly conservative type person that I am I didn't dare visit any of them. Topless women, the nerve!
Folks, I'm already at the end of this column and I'm still just getting started, I haven't even mentioned the great food, the thrill rides, the sightseeing, and a whole lot more. Because of that, I'm already in close consultation with Brothers Pippin and Foskey regarding the planning for our first ever Brotherhood visit to Las Vegas. Right now we're envisioning this as a yearly type ritual, but that's always up for negotiation, to do the proper research we may need several trips out there every year. Can y'all imagine Hugh, the Pip, and I all together out on the Vegas strip? Out in the middle of Sin City? I sure can!
About the Author
Ed's latest book, "Rough As A Cob," can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He's also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.